10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "I'd rather be lucky than good" - Lefty Gomez
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson