10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.