10 Random Poker Quotes

• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.