10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.