10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Welcome to kicker school
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "No river, no fish."