10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth