10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers