10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• im going to 2 out you to death
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."