10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• I'm enough of a dreamer to realize it might have been that elusive something a gambler calls luck. But, I'm also enough of a realist to know that in general we make our own luck - through knowledge, skill and experience.- Doyle Brunson
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."