10 Random Poker Quotes

• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)