10 Random Poker Quotes

There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
You have to piss with the dick you have
Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
"I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
Poker is for fat, American losers.
Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd