10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer