10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I'd rather be lucky than good" - Lefty Gomez
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "No river, no fish."
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.