10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--