10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.