10 Random Poker Quotes

• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Poker is for loners.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright