10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Poker is for loners.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)