10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Welcome to kicker school
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.