10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing. --Nick the Greek
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack