10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)