10 Random Poker Quotes

• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.