10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.