10 Random Poker Quotes

• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.