10 Random Poker Quotes

• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.