10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.