10 Random Poker Quotes

• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack