10 Random Poker Quotes

• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"