10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."