10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.