10 Random Poker Quotes

• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "No river, no fish."
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.