10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• Sucking out won't help you. The only cure for stupidity is losing. -- The BRICK --
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"