10 Random Poker Quotes

• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• It's Free To Fold...
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus