10 Random Poker Quotes

• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"