10 Random Poker Quotes

• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen