10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.