10 Random Poker Quotes

• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Fold and live to fold again
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.