10 Random Poker Quotes

• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow