10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "Not all trappers wear 'coon-skin hats."
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs