10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.