10 Random Poker Quotes

• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.