10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.