10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• A great poker player knows when he is playing poorly.
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• When you win... Rub it in!!! When you lose.. Drink the booze!!!!! Los Altos Dirt Bikers