10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.