10 Random Poker Quotes

• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.