10 Random Poker Quotes

• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.