10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "No river, no fish."
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."