10 Random Poker Quotes

• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]