10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet