10 Random Poker Quotes

• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson