10 Random Poker Quotes

• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!